I think you can know if you're a good writer by how hard it is for you to write a shitty story. You'd think "I'm a good writer, is what they say, so it sould be easy to write something bad!". But it's not, probably because as you write it you feel disgusted by how bad it is. By how bad it needs to be, really.

I mean, it's been a while that I've been needing to come up with an excuse for  some senseles killing, and turn it into a script. But it's impossible, there's no good excuse for senseless killing unless it's comical or actually senseless. But it can't be comical and everytime I come up with something I get the "Trigger Frostbite" except that it's the "Keyboard Frostbite".

I can't just type something so horrible. And afterall, does story really matter when it comes to a game that is focused on killing people until your ass falls over? It's mostly a side thing.

But then you make a side story, that doesn't get in the way of the gameplay, gives a nice excuse for senseles killing, but without being completely senseless, and (the best part) taps into the essense of the thing that inspired the game. But: "It's not good.".

Also there's the fact that my days have been really full, which makes working on a project with a deadline even more stressful, which cripples creativity. The wish for working on something independent and on my own time grows.

Dunno why I said all this here tho, maybe it's just beause I don't feel like filling up my friends and my girlfriend's ear with  my moaning. So I just type it here for no one to read.

At least I get the feeling that I'm saying it to someone, godammit.